~being a beach butterfly~

Sunday, November 28, 2004

I used to hate heartbreakers.

I thought them low -life ruthless scums who fed on the carcasses of the hearts they left to bleed. I imagined them laughing as maggots ate away the last of the hope and the love in people's lives. I banished them all to hell and condemned their souls to the devil himself. I hoped karma would strike them dead and that remorse would slowly and painfully kill them.

But then i grew up. And i realized.. not all heartbreakers deserve that fate. Some find that breaking a heart is punishment enough.

I know. because I've become one. Twice over.

And now I know that the pain rendering realization that you would cause somebody to hurt, hurts you more than any pain imaginable. It stops you cold to think that you are the cause of someody's tears. That you have shattered a soul is an unbearable cross to bear. Your conscience would not let you live it down that you have caused anguish and sorrow to someone you have loved. Your peace of mind will flee to the far flung corners of the earth because the thought that you've broken a heart keeps on nibbling on your brain. And your heart breaks twice as much as the heart you've broken - because you feel both the loss and the burden of the guilt.

But some things couldn't be helped. And sometimes a heart should be broken to let a life be lived as it should be. I used to think there isn't a legitimate reason to cause anyone pain. But our lives are full of choices and some of the choices we make will inevitably make someone unhappy. We can only hope that the choice was the right one and that it was worth breaking a heart for. And you can only take comfort in the fact that the heart is incredibly resilient. We can only pray that the person whose heart you've broken will mend and that they find the faith to love again. There's indeed no easy way to break somebody's heart.. but some things have to be done.

I used to hate heartbreakers. But now i know better.

11/21/04

beachbutterfly babbled @ 4:20 PM |

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: Name: beachbutterfly; Location: Canberra, Australian Capital Territory, Australia

i'm always on the verge of going somewhere else. Not one to settle, i've lived in 7 cities, 4 countries.. and well.. i intend to keep on counting. i live for travelling, shopping, making my parents proud, going to the beach, hanging out with people as insane as i am, boozing and ummm.. having the freedom to be the occasional bum

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