Sunday, May 22, 2005
regrets and exams
REGRETS AND EXAMS
Sometimes i forget that my actions have consequences. There is nothing more horrifying than waking up thinking "i shouldn't have done that" or "what the hell was i thinking?!!". Sometimes you look back at your actions and realize that you didn't think things through as thoroughly as you should have. I think i often lose sight of the fact that things are irreversible and that what is done is done.. never to be undone again.
We've all done things that we've come to regret, haven't we? When i do something that threatens my peace of mind.. i try to look back at the things that made me do it. More often than not.. i come up with the excuse "it seemed right at that time".. and therein lies the problem. Time is not static and what seemed right at that time won't always stay right for long.
The worst is when all these terrible scenarios play inside your head and you cringe as it flickers in your mind hoping that you can just stop and eject it like some bad movie you put in the DVD. But it haunts you relentlessly and the really frightening thing about it is you know that you have no one else to blame but yourself and that you can't do anything about it.
Except to hope that the consequences aren't as dire as you imagine it to be and to take comfort in the fact that at least at that time... it wasn't all that bad.
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Moving on... I have three exams coming up consecutively this week. I hate exams. I've never been much good at studying for these things. I'll take an essay i can take my sweet time in, any day. But the good thing is.. after wednesday.. all i have to do is sort out my Visa and i can go home. Hmmmmmm.. home.. that's something for another post.
beachbutterfly babbled @ 2:27 PM
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- Name: beachbutterfly
- Location: Canberra, Australian Capital Territory, Australia
i'm always on the verge of going somewhere else. Not one to settle, i've lived in 7 cities, 4 countries.. and well.. i intend to keep on counting. i live for travelling, shopping, making my parents proud, going to the beach, hanging out with people as insane as i am, boozing and ummm.. having the freedom to be the occasional bum
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