~being a beach butterfly~

Monday, April 18, 2005

CHANGES

My sister was flicking over her friendster the other day and she commented on how much people have changed so much. People the same age as us are getting married, having babies and have glamorous jobs. We look at ourselves and laughed at the fact that we haven't changed all that much.. we're not that different from the girls that we were 5 years ago.. or at least not drastically so.

Change is a funny word. It's ambiguous and relative. When someone's told u that u've changed.. u can either take it as a compliment or as an insult. change can be either welcomed or shunned. change can be for the better or for worse.

But one thing that has always been for sure about change is the fact that it is inevitable. Remember the old adage 'the only thing constant is change'? Well.. it's so true. Change is unstoppable.. change happens because things like: tastes, preferences, needs and desires change. We're constantly experiencing things which make us evolve into something different.

But some changes force you to let go of things that you have gotten used to. Things like moving to another country, saying goodbye, graduating, starting in a new university, breaking up with someone or having a new job. These are the type of changes that scare me and excite me at the same time. These are the changes that push you into a completely new direction blind- folded -- with only a vague idea of what lies ahead. But these are the ones that force you to grow up - the ones that you have to tackle with all you have.. when you learn to suck it up and learn how to deal.

I'd like to think I'm still essentially the same person as I was but then I know I'm not. I guess I'm so much stronger now and hopefully wiser.. I've learned not to depend on anyone else for my happiness.. I've come to be more cautious about such things as loving, trusting and giving.. I've learned that you get what you deserve.. And you can't please everyone.. Each new experience I've gone through has given me something to take with me to accommodate into what I am.

there was a time when I was weary of changes.. I didn't like my family's moving around so much, having to adapt yet again to a different culture and place, losing touch with valued friends. I didn't want things to change -- i wanted things to stay as it was. But each new country we live in has taught me a lot, I've come to love the unfamiliar places and cultures, and with every friend I move away from - I find a new one.

That is why I've made my peace with change. Although I still get wary of the inconsistency of life.. I've come to accept it. And that's when you come to realize that change is neither good nor bad.. it just is. And most of the time you just have to enjoy each moment because any time things could change and you find yourself finding your way into the unknown yet again - constantly learning, growing and evolving.

Speaking of change...

I've moved. My sister and I exchanged rooms the other day and I am no longer the tenant of the master's bedroom with the ensuite bath. But it's all good.. As I said before needs change and you have to adapt to it. And since they have much more things than I do i suggested a switch. I was feeling rather antsy about moving to the other room.. I've gotten used to having a lot of room, taking a few steps to the bog or the shower, stepping out to the balcony to have a quick fag. But once I moved in and had things in my new room organized.. I felt good. It's cosy and I looked around and I knew that I'd be as happy as I was in the bigger room. Now i know it's not the size or the location of the room - it's what I have in it that makes it MINE. I have to walk a bit further to go to the loo - but I need the exercise anyway. I have to share the bathroom with a guy but it has a tub I can soak my weary bones into. The space is smaller.. but I have eveything closer at hand. I don't have quick access to the balcony but I have a window with a marvellous view of the sunset which i can watch from the comforts of my still snuggly bed. This change is neither welcomed nor shunned.. it was necessary.

Pics of new room and the view I doubt i ever tire of watching once i figure out where we shoved the cam.

beachbutterfly babbled @ 12:02 AM |

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: Name: beachbutterfly; Location: Canberra, Australian Capital Territory, Australia

i'm always on the verge of going somewhere else. Not one to settle, i've lived in 7 cities, 4 countries.. and well.. i intend to keep on counting. i live for travelling, shopping, making my parents proud, going to the beach, hanging out with people as insane as i am, boozing and ummm.. having the freedom to be the occasional bum

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