~being a beach butterfly~

Sunday, December 05, 2004

I turn 21 today.

And when the candles have been blown and the sumptious blue berry cheesecake has been eaten.. I'm left to ponder on what being 21 entails.

I've looked forward to being 21 since the day I was refused to be served drinks in an LA sports bar.. when i was reduced to sneaking a sip on my then 21 year old sister's beer.. when the bars in Sta Monica displayed over-21 signs, when i couldn't even step on the casino floor in vegas.. when here in Australia.. i had to wait a week before i could get my proof of age card because i was a 'minor adult'.

but what's the difference between being 21 and 20 but another year.. another candle?
And when i look back on the past year.. it smacked me right on the face that the difference lies in me.

I'm not the same person who turned 20 twelve months ago.. I have grown considerably over the past year.

..Leaving the familiarity of the Philippines to conquer unknown paths in a place that couldn't be more far removed from what i am used to..
..Having to battle rude real estate agents..
..Having to live away from the loving guidance of our parents yet again..
..figuring out bank details and making do with the balance left in my account..
..conquering the bus routes and getting lost again and again in this small city..
..finding out that you can find friends in the most unlikely people..
..how being away from home makes people discover the real value of friendship -- friends became people i consider my family while mine is elsewhere..
..discovering the city on my own -- having to venture out by myself when i didn't know anyone yet..
..realizing that holding on is not always the best thing to do lest my hold turn into a vise like grip. As Ben Harper says.. sometimes you just have to walk away..
..learning the consequences of my actions and having to live with those consequences..
..loving and leaving and learning to live again without that love..
..knowing that not everything doesn't have to be cloaked with malice..
..realizing my worth and knowing what i deserve and what i shouldn't take..
..standing up for myself and acknowledging the fact that if you don't fight for yourself.. no one else will..
..learning that people need cheek to get somewhere.. and more often than not.. i have very little to lose by being cheeky..
..finding out that no one person is inadequate.. we all have it in us somewhere to make it in this world..
..discerning that not everyone can be trusted.. there is nothing wrong with being guarded..
..understanding that what i think of myself does not necessarily reflect how people think of me..
..getting to know myself more and discovering certain aspects of myself i didn't know existed..
..having to learn to balance the seriousness of getting good university education and getting serious about the equally good education that exists outside the university..
..learning to let loose every weekend if possible.. lest i lose my sanity..
..seeing the worth of appreciating all the blessings that has come my way..
..knowing that there is nothing my parents wouldn't understand.. and that no matter how far down the shit hole i am, they'll always be there to pull me out..
..realizing that every moment spent with my siblings is important.. we all grow up so fast..
..dealing with people who think they have me all figured out..
..making friends with people from different cultures and who couldn't be more different from me..
..deriving the strength i need from within me and not from someone else..
..surviving the bitter winter..
..surviving the sizzling summer..
..sleeping on the floor of our flat when we didn't have furniture yet..
..learning to be more sincerely humble and modest will get me further than being obnoxious..
..acknowledging that hang ups only drag me down..

..these are all the experiences and lessons learned that earned me that extra candle on my cake.. this is what turning 21 truly means.

(and of course being able to legally drink and gamble the U.S. :)

beachbutterfly babbled @ 5:33 PM |

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: Name: beachbutterfly; Location: Canberra, Australian Capital Territory, Australia

i'm always on the verge of going somewhere else. Not one to settle, i've lived in 7 cities, 4 countries.. and well.. i intend to keep on counting. i live for travelling, shopping, making my parents proud, going to the beach, hanging out with people as insane as i am, boozing and ummm.. having the freedom to be the occasional bum

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