~being a beach butterfly~

Monday, January 10, 2005

I didn't think i'd get emotional.
I would think that after all my moving around so much I'd be immune to teary-eyed goodbyes.
I thought I've mastered the art of keeping cool while saying my farewells.

From leaving Manila to live in Cebu.. to leaving yet again to the then unknown Kazahkstan.. to leaving the people I've come to love so much in Kazahkstan to go to L.A.. to leaving the family I've just come to know in California to come home to Manila.. to leaving Manila yet again (this time leaving a chunk of my heart for I had to leave someone very precious to me) to study in Australia.. going to Myanmar to visit my family for a few weeks and leaving them once more.. And going back to Australia..

I'd think I'd be used to all the hellos and the goodbyes.

But when my daddy said goodbye and gave me a tight hug.. I couldn't believe that my eyes were watering and a lump in my throat was forming.. But when it was time to go I gave him a brave smile and a pat in the back and a promise that I'd be good.

And I realized.. you don't really get used to that.. letting go of people you love for another few months or years.. or who knows? Saying "i'd see you soon" not actually knowing when 'soon' is does not get easier.

You just learn how to be stronger (or at least act braver). and you become more skilled at holding back your tears because crying just makes saying goodbye so much harder (and besides.. it ruins ur make-up!). And you pray a little more fervently that 'soon' would come soon so you get to spend some more time with the people you value.. if only to say goodbye again.

PS. I wasn't able to hold back my tears though.. I cried as soon as I turned my back to pappy. How cliche is crying in the rain?!?

beachbutterfly babbled @ 11:27 PM |

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: Name: beachbutterfly; Location: Canberra, Australian Capital Territory, Australia

i'm always on the verge of going somewhere else. Not one to settle, i've lived in 7 cities, 4 countries.. and well.. i intend to keep on counting. i live for travelling, shopping, making my parents proud, going to the beach, hanging out with people as insane as i am, boozing and ummm.. having the freedom to be the occasional bum

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